Sunday, November 26, 2006

In the beginning...

When I was a little girl, I had an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I eventually became a big sister to a little brother. I was 8 years old when he was born and I was so excited. I remember coming home from school to be told I had a new brother. I quickly changed clothes (we had to wear dresses to school in those “olden days”) and ran to the neighbors to tell them I had a new brother.

I told myself that he was special to me and I was special to him. I guess I “mothered” him. Childhood fantasy.

Another childhood game I had was another “mothering” game. I must admit that I come by nurturing by nature. I am a natural “care giver”. So, the game included me, my 2 younger sisters and many, many dolls. The dolls were accumulated over the years from Santa. Each year he would give me and by sisters a doll. I don’t remember wanting one, but I always got one. I took good care of my dolls so Santa would be pleased (yes I was a “pleaser” also) and give me a gift next year. Sometimes, I would organize my sisters and dolls in our bedroom. We would see how many dolls we had before placing the dolls in various locations throughout our house. The 3 sisters would reunite in the bedroom again and wait for a minute. Shortly, I would walk through the house again and much to my surprise, find all these children waiting to be found and in need of love. I would gather them up and take them home.

I didn’t give that “game” much thought until one evening I was preparing for a presentation about Birth Mothers. I was wondering (I will talk another time about the powers of wondering) what to say when I recalled my childhood game. I was shocked at how the game seemed similar to my current employment responsibilities. I work with girls or women who are pregnant and deciding if they want to consider placing their baby for adoption.

I have at times wondered if I am doing my life’s mission. When I had the above realization—I had to wonder if any other girls placed the “find the baby” game. Perhaps I am doing a life mission—or at least one of them.

Being involved with Birth Mothers through the decision process has its ups and downs. I have met many wonderful young women and worked with volunteers that have helped along the way. I have had experiences that I cherish. I have cried with others. I have prayed for help, support, and comfort for others. Sometimes I say, “I have done all that I can” and let go.

Over the years, I have seen changes. I considered writing a book at one time. The point of the book was to be a support to women going through this process of making a decision that would impact their life. There seemed to be support for the Adoptive Parents and information for the child that was adopted, but was lacking in support for Birth Mothers. The idea of a book fell by the wayside. This latest attempt was sparked by a young friend with her own BLOG page. As I listened to her, I thought perhaps I could reach many Birth Moms and help them connect to other Birth Moms, building a SUPPORT NETWORK. My hope is to give back to the women that I have come to love and admire.

5 Comments:

At 8:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is wonderful Tawnia!!
How do I do a blog statement?

I think every birth mother has an interesting story to tell and most of us don't get that oppertunity to share with others as we should.

Being a Birth mother is a very bitter sweet experience. As much as I Love my Birth Daughter and
wonder how she's doing and what direction in life she will choose and long for the day that we may meet again, I know that the oppertunity of being a birth mother has changed my life for the better and has blessed me and my family with strength and faith and the courage to keep going... Life is a journey full of bumbs along the way. People make choices that they wish they could have had a second chance to choose a different path. With adoption you can turn poor judgement into a blessing for someone else. At the same time blessing and strengthening yourself and your future forever through your sacrifice of loving this child so much that you wanted the best for her and knew at this time, you couldn't give her the life she deserved..

I am so thankful to have had the support I needed during that tender time in my life when I was making a life changing decision for myself and for my Birth Daughter.

If I can help out in any way to support someone in need about such a decision of the Adoption option,
please let me know...

Elizabeth

 
At 8:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, Tawnia...

I give you my approval! And feel free to post anything you want about how WE met :)

Im going to send you my schpeel and you can cut and paste as you wish.

I miss you and I am very greatful that you and I were able to work together during that time in my life and you have made it easier as the days go on, just being there and listening.

As Beth said, if my story can help just one person make the very hardest decision that she can make, I will feel satisfied.

Love,
Emmy

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Elozia Marie said...

That was a beautiful post. What a sweet little girl you were, and how incredable what you do now is. Thank you for sharing this!

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Crystal said...

I am new to this blog. I am a birth mom since March 08. Best thing I could ever do, make a dream for a specail person become reality.
I think the job of the worker must be hard. Working w mother who r going thu this and trying to help.

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Kimberly said...

Hi Tawnia,
I just stumbled across this blog and now I'm crying, so thanks. :-)

I too, have desires to reach out to others and do what I can to help and educate.... whether it is comforting a mother who is contemplating what she should do with her baby, educate those not familiar with adoption about the love involved (not selfishness) when it comes to placing a child for adoption, and even couples deliberating about whether or not to adopt, and help them understand what a birth mother goes through.

I also want to thank you for YOUR support, and for loving me and always helping me to feel comfortable when things have sometimes been awkward. Being a Birth Mother is definitely an unplanned experience :-), and I am so thankful that you were there to literally hold my hand at times.

Love always,
Kimberly

 

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