Sunday, November 26, 2006

In the beginning...

When I was a little girl, I had an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I eventually became a big sister to a little brother. I was 8 years old when he was born and I was so excited. I remember coming home from school to be told I had a new brother. I quickly changed clothes (we had to wear dresses to school in those “olden days”) and ran to the neighbors to tell them I had a new brother.

I told myself that he was special to me and I was special to him. I guess I “mothered” him. Childhood fantasy.

Another childhood game I had was another “mothering” game. I must admit that I come by nurturing by nature. I am a natural “care giver”. So, the game included me, my 2 younger sisters and many, many dolls. The dolls were accumulated over the years from Santa. Each year he would give me and by sisters a doll. I don’t remember wanting one, but I always got one. I took good care of my dolls so Santa would be pleased (yes I was a “pleaser” also) and give me a gift next year. Sometimes, I would organize my sisters and dolls in our bedroom. We would see how many dolls we had before placing the dolls in various locations throughout our house. The 3 sisters would reunite in the bedroom again and wait for a minute. Shortly, I would walk through the house again and much to my surprise, find all these children waiting to be found and in need of love. I would gather them up and take them home.

I didn’t give that “game” much thought until one evening I was preparing for a presentation about Birth Mothers. I was wondering (I will talk another time about the powers of wondering) what to say when I recalled my childhood game. I was shocked at how the game seemed similar to my current employment responsibilities. I work with girls or women who are pregnant and deciding if they want to consider placing their baby for adoption.

I have at times wondered if I am doing my life’s mission. When I had the above realization—I had to wonder if any other girls placed the “find the baby” game. Perhaps I am doing a life mission—or at least one of them.

Being involved with Birth Mothers through the decision process has its ups and downs. I have met many wonderful young women and worked with volunteers that have helped along the way. I have had experiences that I cherish. I have cried with others. I have prayed for help, support, and comfort for others. Sometimes I say, “I have done all that I can” and let go.

Over the years, I have seen changes. I considered writing a book at one time. The point of the book was to be a support to women going through this process of making a decision that would impact their life. There seemed to be support for the Adoptive Parents and information for the child that was adopted, but was lacking in support for Birth Mothers. The idea of a book fell by the wayside. This latest attempt was sparked by a young friend with her own BLOG page. As I listened to her, I thought perhaps I could reach many Birth Moms and help them connect to other Birth Moms, building a SUPPORT NETWORK. My hope is to give back to the women that I have come to love and admire.